This story addresses a core issue that is often thought about by men and women as they interact with each other in meaningful relationships and marriage. It is about love and money. At this point, I ask a simple question – Do YOU believe that there is such a thing as love without money? BE honest, pause, think and answer the question in your mind and then read on. I will tell you a story (not a true story). Pay particular attention to the dialogue between two ladies regarding what they consider true love to be.
Janet: You know that there is such a thing as love without money?
Mary-Anne: Money does not bring limitations, it brings opportunities and adventure and desire and fulfillment.
Janet: Yes, and it waters down the purity of love, making it less real and more shallow. Money conforms love to the dictates of material and ephemeral things, ensuring that such a love does not last. Love comes from the heart before it gets to the mind. True LOVE is unconditional, and any LOVE that is predicated on money can NOT be true love!
Mary-Anne: NO. LOVE is NOT an impulsive endeavor. LOVE IS a decision. LOVE originates in the mind before it gets into the heart.
Janet: Can’t you love a man that has all the qualities that you want in a man but has no money?
Mary-Anne: NO. A man without money does not possess all the qualities I want. One of the qualities I want in a man IS money. The love for a man without a quality such as money is a false type of love – it withers and dies under pressure! Money is not just an important part of love, it is an essential part. Money is like the soil in which true love grows and blossoms. Without money, Love is just a word.
Janet: Really? But the wedding vows read ‘for richer, or poorer’, surely there must be love WITHOUT money!
Mary-Anne: Yes, but for ‘richer or poorer’ assumes that the person of interest is already rich. It doesn’t assume that the person is poor. So let me ask you – what do you expect of a man who loves you?
Janet: I expect his love to be pure and simple, uncontaminated by the pressures of money and the snares of a lack of it. Life is more than money, and so is love. I expect a man to express his love for me by caring for me and appreciating me.
Mary-Anne: Yes, but how must a man care for you or appreciate you if he can NOT express this by getting you what you want and need. You cannot separate love from money: the only way you can do this is to sign a prenuptial agreement separating your financial affairs from your love/ marriage. Would you sign a prenuptial agreement before you marry?
Janet: NO, NEVER, a prenup is not true love!
Mary-Anne: If a separation of love and money via a prenup is not true love, then, by extension, there is no such thing as true love separate from or without money. Money is needed for love to function. LOVE is only as important as money but not more so. As ideal as it sounds, separating love from money is desecrating love on the altar of unreality and fantasy. Love that denies a need for money and financial security can NOT be true love. LOVE is more important than money ONLY when such money is not tied to love……
Janet: BUT if someone loves you because of your money and not because of LOVE, such love is not true LOVE…..
(the conversation continues)
At this point, I ask a simple question – Do YOU believe that there is such a thing as love without money? BE honest, pause, think and answer the question in your mind, and then tell me.